Out of blog

CUrrent Status


As for next 1 month and previous 2 months, Kram will go wayfaring for a while in hidden locations to regain his blogging enthusiam. So for the timebeing, cleanpants will remain as cleanpants as its editor is staying clean and low profile for the moment. Good holidays...





" It doesn't make sense at all"
If any of the blog contents have made you feel insulted or think it is too stupid, i apologize first and foremost

Jalan Jalan Cari Nonsense (episode: Brunai)

And so the story goes that that everyone thought that he or it had evaporated, never to be seen and leaving a trail of nonsensical legacy to those who still hold a fragment of distant memories of he or it.

THE END


NOw my current position is somewhere in bornea and i think i will give a short lesson on a nearby primitive kingdom called Brunai. Brunai, as everyone doesn't seem to know or care, lies at the heart of Serawak. Yup i guess anyone would be thinking of orangutans and jungles with big Rafflesia which is quite smelly and possibly detrimental to health. I m sure everyone knows the rumours that people here on Bornea sometimes live in treehouse and swing around all day but believe me, we are actually far more advance and civilized than we look.

We actually have the largest kampung ayer in the world. Engineered with sophisticatedly cut wooden planks, hand-crafted windows and possible mixture of new and old technology: the zinc roof, it is the 8th wonder of the new world.The brain child of a guy who probably been dead around 700 yr ago, we have create the single largest city on water in the world. I bet even the Egyptians who have model the pyramid, will stand mouth gapping ( probably seeing how wasteful the use of wood ) will probably tell their descendant of such sight ( not to waste so much wood to build a pyramid on water ) and generations to come. Catch Megastructure: Kampung Ayer on National Geography if they come to film Brunai.

Thats not all, don't think the run down scene of rift-rafting water perahus floating among the debris shows nothing but a bedraggled and degenerating village but actually is hiding high performances geeky specs. The random water taxis randomly splashing around actually is a highly sophisticated communication networking which only locals know how to use. To discourage usage by strangers, foreigners are always rip-off by the fares of the water taxi vendors. The food supply chain which is the life line of the kampung also depends on the perahus to meet the daily demands. Once again if an invasion is to occur, they would have to have both land and naval sumpremacy before they can conquer brunai.

On the other hand, what is simple and down rite obvious is actually the best solution. Instead of troublesome toilets piping that always clog and need expensive maintanence, the kampung residents just go the back door to do business. U never need to worry about privacy since probably everyone is doing it and you can have it during midnite anyway if privacy ur concern. If anyone is talking how to live green, the environmentalists aready have a real-proven-model rite here by the river. What u eat and finish processing is dump into the river and recycle by nature. Some fish that eat those excretions are eaten by bigger fish and so on. In the end some of the fish end up in the fishmongers stall in a nearby pasar. My advice is if u don want to break that cylcle of life, eat fish that are imported from nearby Sabaah if satying here. By the way, sometimes those end up as debris that float around like the ones i mentioned before in the scene.

Another thing, oil here is not free so u need to remember to pay after filling ur car. ANd actually it is more expensive than plain water for the fact.

Now i have written enought to be exiled already so i will cease from existence until the next episode of Jalan Jalan Cari Nonsense.







" It doesn't make sense at all"
If any of the blog contents have made you feel insulted or think it is too stupid, i apologize first and foremost

Sight, smell and scam of a nite market (WARNING: Really Long)

This nite was like any other nite except that it was my 1st time going to the Cheras famous nite market, known for its good food and long illegal parkings lining the entire market.

Upon entering the market, it really lives up to its own version of malaysia identity. Everywhere vehicles trying to cut each other but end up been cut again. An amazing feat was for every 1 car exiting the nite market, there would be 3 cars entering, but still manage to find somewhere to park. I bet no country can find such an effective parking system. Anyway, it is also worth mentioning that malaysia is the only country where people rather ram into cars than vice versa. Seems like many have the belief that they possess bodies of steel that can break through a car and have long-sightness that they can never see a car in front of them.

Anyway, the highlights for the nite was for just RM11.40, my taste bud was fully provoked or in reality i just stuff everything into my mouth. I manage to have 2 pieces of (large) pandan cake, 4 nyonya balls, 3 crispy nugget, 1 slice of chinese pizza, 2 crispy prawn balls, 3 vegetable tofu, 2 drinks, and 1 'chou' tofu aka smelly chinese-version of half-rotten, decomposing starch cubes fried with oil, which u can smell at specific spot in the nite market or ur own breath. The tofu actually taste smelly and its properties i believe is similar to the durian, which is some people enjoy and some people rather eat their vomit.

Another quite interesting experience was that if KL was the capital of Malaysia, Cheras nite market is the scam district of Selangor. Think of me as innocent or too daft but i never really encountered any scam until that fateful day, unless u count the occasional fake Digi sms of u winning Rm 10,000 and stuff. It seems like the God of Scam suddenly visit me and people related to me. I bet u guys heard above the scam where an housewife received a phone call telling that her child is been kidnap and a ransom needed. During that episode, the housewife would heard cries of a child (supposedly her's if she likes) pleading for help over the phone call. My mum and some of her friends got the call, and one of them was worried enough to have paid over Rm 10,000 to the scammer. Kinda feel sorry for her though.

In the nite market alone, i manage to meet 10 kinds of scammers and with extraordinary abilities and performing feats which no human have ever done before. One was supposedly a poor bed-draggled BLIND women squatting on the ground, begging for money. I think a miracle happened in that when i pass by her, i saw her open her eyes to pocket the donated money and then suddenly becomes blind again. Another few ordinary obvious scammers was an lady holding a blind child, where anyone would want to donate until u saw a cardboard written that her child was blind, in english AND chinese translation AND in perfect handwritting AND perfect layout.

The stupid one was a guy lying on the floor selling stuff with AGAIN a cardboard stating that: " If u buy one toy, he won't be fined by the police" ( i have no comments). After a while, u will see the same guy crawling in the middle of the road, towards a restaurant. Sometimes, a scammer can be smart and stupid at the same instant. The scammer was an ordinary old lady, sitting on a wheel chair, and using her metalloid cover armoured-bandage right feet, trying to ram straight middle through crowds, hopefully to earn a few bucks and get to the other side of the nite market to pee or something. Efficient.

There was an occasional few 3-4 lazy DISABLE scammer suddenly appearing at hotspots and disappeared again at the other side of the nite market in just less than 10 mins. One was smart enough to con people into buying a RM 10 jumping doll that actually jumps. The funny thing is one of his hands was hidden behind a bag, with almost invincible strings attached to the doll and actually making it jump.

With lion-dance background music and spot-light, standing there was another guy claiming that he has some super potent medicine. So as a pharmacist in training (i like to emphasize that), i decide to train my ability of detecting fake medicine. First the guy ask a volunteer, but then a teenager (co-scammer or probably his son) stand out to test the guy(scammer) claims. After a long lecture in some dialect which seem like gibberish to me, they start the demo. The guy ask the boy to hold a metal tube, with both his hand straight behind his back. The guy then do some Ku-Fu, then poke the back of the boy, and then swing the boy's arm 270 degree to the front. The guy then ask the boy repeat the swinging back and front with both arms holding the metal tube. Actually it seems pretty gross to me but i believe it is authentic (the boy probably trained in the hidden art of swing-arms 360 degree).

And then after another gibberish lecture on that his super medicine actually heals pain and strengthen the mind and body, he spray the medicine onto a dry clump of grass. The grass
started to move and unclump (obviously it absorb the water) and then the guy claim that the medicine actually revived the grass. I can't believe anyone would believe that unless they are 3 yrs old or mentally challenged. Later his assistant show us some old, crumpled newspaper in a plastic bag (probably been doctored alredy) and ask that a question: " If anyone would have this medicine, would u want to use it?" And then he pointed his mike at a 10yr old child( probably the scammer 2nd son, as i can see the resemblance) and the child say "YES!" in some dialect. The scammer then quote the price of RM25 per bottle, with buy 2 free 1 package. He even claim that if you drink the medicine once, u will be cured of all shoulder, head, stomach and probably heartache. SO i conclude that if i drink everyday, i will become superman already.

He started to redemo the arm swinging thing again, but the i already can't take it. Actually there was another scammer nearby who seemed to be doing some black magic on a white terrier. The dog seemed to shake very violent and the scammer's aides have to hold down the dog. Too bad i was alredy sick of looking at any other scams.

I proposed to petition to the Visit Malayisia Tourism board that they should have a theme of :

Malaysia, truly a land of scammers. This include a package of visiting a notorious scam district and getting the chance of been scam unwittingly. Get to know all about the thriving scamming business that contribute millions to the economy and be a victim of that success story. Copyrights CDs, fake fashions and branded goods, food that have special plastic nutritional bonus and phone call scams are all part of the trip schedule. Learn all above cutting cars, parking efficiently and stealing all hotels amenities as souvenirs before going back to your country. Malaysia, trully Asia.......


I am pretty sure this proposal will be an instant hit.




" It doesn't make sense at all"
If any of the blog contents have made you feel insulted or think it is too stupid, i apologize first and foremost

A Nonsense Conspiracy

A Nonsense Conspiracy

The stanza was about to start as i thought it was about to. After seamless days staring at black and white papers, i m alredy half-way in my dream to become a hardisc, well atleast a faulty but still functional recorder that can only hold window 98 version of word documents. I wasn't a bit worry that i was crapping the opposite way but then hey, who would care about that when you have quarantine urself in a small, tiny cubicle with a table full of black and white docement and have been feeding one piece of bread for every document analysed.

Then suddenly a remiscence of a previous long forgotten nite came back in flash, like vision appearing that foretell something you have obviously missed. The nite was young when i remember that was the last time i was still young and still possess a human mind. I meet someone particularly at a place that was far, far away but actually next door, and the place was called the cafeteria or SA.

An immediate thought of exotically fragrant roti canai smell that never seem to be lacking and always give your clothes a smell that is hard to forget or wash away. The thought propelled me to another fact that my nestle chicken rice always lack cucumbers, which may an indication the cook don't like me or prejudice in a sense. I was on a business trip of considering whether the nestle chicken rice was a financially viable option or the economy rice which is something economical but then sometimes not. But in the end, i chose economy rice which sounds nicer but then i got rip off again which reminds me of being rip off all the time by the 'economic' rice guy.

Anyway, on my journey to the fly-infested nest called the 'table' in cafeterian terms,i managed to isolate myself at the edge of a long table which seems to be out of sight of the flies. Munching, grinding and perhaps half-choking, i manage to mechanically digest the food before it went into my stomach and stuck there as usual, needing a plumber to occasionally check the system. Such are the fates of the SA regurlars.

During my losing-appetite meal, i discover there were two familiar faces who were facing the same fate as me, munching the doctor-won't-recommended dishes. They were chatting happily, perhaps ignorant of the ill-karma that circles around us: the flies. An omen, perhaps as bad or even worsen than the cicada crisis was about to befoul me. Dismissing such concern, i concerntrate into the surround noise that seems to besiege me from all angles.

As i delve into their seemingly normal conversation, i manage to catch some glimpse of words, words that seem to imply somethings. Three word caught my attention were medicine, stress and insufficient time. All of them pointed to one obvious conclusion; too much medicine is stressful and use up a lot off ur time. That can only mean one thing: Pharmacy. 

My mind reel from this suddenly shocking revelation, and a burst of information stream out in forms of images as my subconscious try to comprehend the scale of this conspiracy. Bridges and connection were made between vague pieces of memory. Relationship were form and the random facts were starting to make sense. 

Now it makes almost perfect sense. Then it dawn to be i was too late. 

From the second we set our foot beyond the gates of nottingham, we are already ensnare in a contigency of masterminds-lay plan. First the interview to lessen suspicion, then the letter of offer to remove doubts. The orietation was perfectly coordinate to exhaust further growing thoughts. Over the semester, combination of stress, excessive lectures and exhaustive lab reports were dosed on student to weaken mind resistant and make them more susceptible to suggestion. Finally the last straw was self-study exams to complete the finishing move of the evil plan of controlling the feeble minds of the exams-obsessed and make them bow to their will.

But then i was too late. But even so i have to stop them. But then i realised i was too late to save myself. I was alredy deep within their trap that i had no way out. I was going to the toilet...

Inspired by Pre Exam Traumatic Stress Syndrome PETSS

" It doesn't make sense at all"

If any of the blog contents have made you feel insulted or think it is too stupid, i apologize first and foremost

Tips on writing a CPD

Editor spam: Its been a while since i was bother to write something again. Now sitting at the verge of superboredom and burden with the fact of where the heck did i place my CPD papers, i still happily go about my business of checking facebook and blogging. Hence once in a while boredom serve as a catalyst to superimpose myself into the art of blogging once in blue moon. Okay, i know this probably sound too chezzy but hey i m pharmacy student, no harm been lame once in a while.

Tips on writing a CPD

Looking back sure brings about of memories, both pleasant and unpleasant and maybe something in the middle.

Well the first step in writing ur CPD is to find out where u put ur cpd. But trust me, it is not worth the effort as it is probably use for making a rolling pin to wack the creepy crawlies during the croachroach crisis. Anyway the wise thing one should do once in a while is to visit
http://webct.nottingham.ac.uk/webct/cobaltMainFrame.dowebct
to download and print the CPD notes.

After troubleshooting all half-hour trying to find where ur CPD document is printed at which printer (which i found by God's grace it is still at the printer nice and warm, and not in the scrap box which it will never live to see daylight), ensure that u din accidentally tear it.

Then, the next most reasonable step is to find a comfortable chair near an aircon ventilation and then sign in ur facebook. Maybe you can try googling what u should write but that would be unwise as it might serve as an entrapment. Another good suggestion is to go back to ur nice and cozy chair, sit and think for a while and then fall asleep and woke up the next day with all ur drool all over ur CPD. Atleast, i sure Mr Wong won't mind not marking ur CPD.

Procrastinating is a good way of writing CPD. Philosophers DID it all the time and that is why they are not here anymore. Even genius like Leornado da Vinci procrastinate day and nite until he need to finish his painting until 11 years later. But then he is still known as a genius and if u finish faster, u can be said as smarter than him.

Anyway, when u reach the phase of reminiscence, u may need to use the toilet once in a while. Toilet break serve as a break away event where people can think out of the box when doing their small business. Your bladder is relieve and this will bring a stimulation to the brain where u will feel relief. Once u r happy, u will go back to finish ur CPD but then u will feel a sudden urge for thirst. And then u feel hungry, then bored, then online, then stream or facebook and then sleep and then....

Okay, now to the most important part, what to write. Write about pass achievements which has some monumental effect at some time of ur life where u survive in one piece and are still breathing. A real life experience like i uncovered who was the killer in the Mafia game and save the live of the spy and fellow citizens. Too bad for the GP though as he or she was always killed 1st( so never try to be a doctor in real or fake life. You will have a short end) My theories was that the spy was probably tempted by the KFC chicken so he/she probably intend to lose and eat the chicken.

Another prediction i made is the occurance of a massive tsunami in Japan that destroy half of the Tokohama (even Godzilla fail to do that) How i predicted? During that fateful day, 6 cockroach and 1 cicada find refuge in my living room and was apparently killed by someone. Luckily this omen was wrong, and the tsunami never happen.

Well, the last thing one should never do during CPD writing is to write lame stuff like this in Tiscra. That my best piece of advice to you.

(This article is based on a true story)

Inspired by: CPD
Written by: ME




If any of the blog contents have made you feel insulted or think it is too stupid, i apologize first and foremost

Lesson learn from a cockroach

Lesson learn from a cockroach

These days, there are 3 things you can find a lot: reports, emo people and cockroach. I leave the boring issues out so i wont get emo just writing about them. Cockroaches on the other hand are more interesting and exactly opposite as compare to the other two issues. They are more lively, they are found in ur wardrobe and greet u by jumping at u when u open the door. Your life is quarantee to be more lively if u have one becoming ur neigbour underneath ur bed.

Since i never seen them emoing around, i reasonably deduce that their lives much be much happy than ours. Even if they are creepy crawlies of the under-wardrobe/drawer, they still know how to appreciate life when they are not been squash by the rolled-up newpaper. We therefore as a human, a much more advance creature shouldn't spent all our days doing reports or chant emo emo emo but try to watch more Heroes or Ugly Betty or some other shows to liven ourselves. Even if u try to teach them about paired t-test, they won't apply it in real life anyway. So after we are done rejecting the null hypothesis that there is a probability that cockroach would write reports or learn phys and pharm, they would still be looking at you with their wriggling atennae trying make sense of your smell.

Since cockroaches are older than humans since prehistoric time, they would have tonnes of experience on how to live happily.

Thats is why in the event of a financial crisis + diarrhoea crisis + nucleaur war + midlife crisis - report crisis, they would be the one surviving. Note: If you have any of the above crisis, better consult your nearest GP.

A word of advice though, even if the cockroach is a potential philospher, it is best you don't have one living in your room. Not that u will get lectures on the meaning of life by the cockroach or reach a state of nivarna with it, the cockroach is a potential pests. They spoiled you morning by appearing as the first living thing you see in your drawer, though i confess it make you more awake than the alarm clock. Since they always appear near the Season Soya Bean drink, it must be lactose intolerances too. Too bad for them, 1 got smack by the newspaper, another one got thrown from the 2nd floor and escape( they can fly!) another one got trap in a container.
So for more cockroach updates, please visit Tioman Hall for more first hand experience.



This article is brought to you by Wayfarer in collaboration with the friendly cockcroach-right activitist who got trap in the Pringle Potato Chip container.
(This article is a result of excessive boring, monotonous, super-dull report writing so don't blame me if you read it)






" It make sense when it doesnt "
If any of the blog contents have made you feel insulted or think it is too stupid, i apologize first and foremost

Business Today: arB and Yakutl Review

Business Today: arB and Yakutl Review

Prologue

Human are stupid. They create stuff called paper and pen and then invented the alphabet. After that a group of people called pharmacy student use such invention to do assignments and reports day and night. The consequences was that they started to become nortunal as they sleep around 2 to 3 in the morning and have a habit of sleeping till 2 in the afternoon. Such evolution has prompted them to eat twice a day or even once to save food and the term "Branch" was invented. Those u can't see in the cafeteria are probably hibernating or trying to figure out whether acid, base or buffet can be eaten. Survivor of the fittest was the norm and finally they degrade into creatures that are obsessed with Phys and Pharm and sometimes Chemical biology or something like that.In the end, overstressed, they start to spam facebook again for fun and again and again. So dont be surprise if ur facebook account suddenly got 100+ notification. Charles Darwin would have been proud that his theory on devolution was correct.

Crisis in facebook season 2

To date, there has been 122 posts found in this spamming conference. Calsualties are probably all the same people in spam war 1. The only difference is it was because of a bra. A portion of commentators trying to blame another portion of commentators and voila, we have found a spam business. Since this business is on the bra, advertisement may be included in this issue. Even though these are hard economic times, this bra business grew to be quite profitable, with reaches from all over pharmacy nottinghma world. Even though this business only sell one type of bra, black and probably available in A to B cup(limited edition), it still manage to attract attention of all girls and guys of all size and shape. All of them are so interested that they bid their time and comments just for the sake of seeing this bra. Buyers beware, the source of the bra are still been debated to be either from SOIW or some maid or some creature that is capable of wearing such things. This bra is highly sought after by spammers so its price may increase substantially. So better invest in this spam business or be left out of the race. To buy or not to bra, black is fashionable anyway.

Tis was the season to spam.(this session was not intend to be lewd so if u have 2nd thought, please google instead. Thank u for ur cooperation)

Yakult Trip

March 14, 2009:

Ever wonder why people especially pharm students who are willing to spend 3 hrs of riding and 1.5 hours of lectures just to get a taste of this reowned drink? And what kind of drink make them so desperate just to get their hands on? It is Yakutl. Yup, the name says it all, it is YAKUTL. For your info, currently there is 30 billion bacteria who called themselves Shirro Strepto-Something Bacillus dwelling inside one tiny bottle of Yakutl. If you are not familiar, they are related to the BASIL-us family and if u got lucky, u may get to talk with one of them at campus. .......( this review wasn't finish due to author desire to sleep, so good luck in your friend stock and hope you gotten meaningful insight into such business) " 

Brought you by Wayfarer:

If any of the blog contents have made you feel insulted or think it is too stupid, i apologize first and foremost